Hard to believe that I’m leaving Russia tomorrow, more than half the world away from my origination, and yet not at my final destination either. Two months on the road in foreign countries will expose anyone to new sights and new insights, as well.
Today I had a little time to reflect about the last eight weeks: the people, the places, the funny, and the profound. It’s not that the sabbatical is winding down; on the contrary, I’m reaching the midpoint of my odyssey.
The People(s):
One should never stereotype any group of people. It’s impossible to be accurate, and in fact, “the people” are always, in actuality, many peoples. Russia in its vastness is no exception. I’ve met blond haired-blue eyed Karelians and dark skinned Azeris. Slavs and Armenians, Europeans and Asians, all share a single citizenship, a single national identity, and a common language despite their many ethnicities.
If raised during the Cold War years, Americans especially can be inclined to rely on the TV images of Krushchev and Brezhnev when forming their impressions of Russia. This, of course, is unfair not only to Russians but to Americans as well. It distorts the reality of the former and limits the horizons of the latter.
The citizens of Russia are like citizens of any country. They have their commonalities with one another and their peculiarities, which are dictated by custom, habit, and social systems.
When citizens of two different countries interact, all sorts of responses should be anticipated. Depending upon the circumstances, the encounter can be pleasant, humorous, or mutually gratifying. Or it can produce frustration, anxiety, and ultimately anger.
I have travelled through Russia in various circumstances since crossing the border on June 4, both with private drivers and using public transportation, having English-speaking tour guides and winging it on my own through museums, airports, train stations, restaurants and shops. The truth is, people are people. Some smile and some won’t. Some try to listen patiently to a foreigner’s attempt to fumble his way through their language, and some don’t. Some are grumpy and some are — like so many I’ve met — true unexpected joys.
The ultimate key to communication is finding what one has in common with another. Breakdowns always point to the loss of commonality, whether dreams and goals, or things far more trivial.
It is true, different cultures act differently in different circumstances. A visitor always has to remember this when his cultural values clash with different cultural values in a new situation. We’ve been taught to act and to respond differently. It is unreasonable to expect an entire nation to conform to our ideas and social norms. Of course, in a panic, we will retreat to that which is most familiar, and this will always limit the possibility of finding that common thread which the traveler ultimately needs.
The Places:
From the moment we crossed from generally prosperous Finland to Russia, we were struck with the contrast between the two countries. Rural poverty in Russia is particularly appalling, especially when there is so much land and natural resources available. But people have left rural life for the city in Russia as they have in many other countries. And the state collective farms have been largely abandoned in great numbers. There is no tradition of landed farmers left, thanks to the previous economic system. As state owned businesses collapsed during Perestroika, the people were the victims of privatization. This is particularly acute in the rural areas. Quaint Russian villages are not that quaint, without plumbing or paving.
In the cities, there is the opulence of the old, Tsarist past in the museums vying with images of the new wealth of Russian consumerism in daily life. Couple this with the incongruity of communist monuments, heralding the Glory of Soviet Power, juxtaposed to the construction of new churches. The gleaming golden domes of the latter sparkle not only on the skylines but also in promotional brochures for business and tourism. New apartment complexes stand next to Soviet apartment blocks. Progressive Western Europe stands next to sometimes decaying relics of a different epoch.
The Russian landscape on my route has been predominated by forest — the taiga — and rivers, dotted with villages. The cities have been as varied as cities can be, anywhere. Some are thriving and some are in definite decline. Some seem to look to the future, while others seem gripped by the past.
The Funny:
Take for example, the queue. (For American readers, it’s the line you stand in waiting to take your turn to do something.) In Russia, once upon a time there were manifold queues: lines for bread, lines for milk, for meat. It didn’t matter. In fact, an oft-told story is one about people seeing queues and simply joining them without knowing what was available. They figured something was available. And it might prove useful later, for trade if for nothing else.
Suffice it to say, I think that the queue has virtually disappeared, except in certain places, like cordoned-off areas. Still, they don’t function like queues elsewhere. For instance, waiting to purchase Metro tickets. Approach an open ticket window. Be prepared that someone else will also approach as you are in mid-sentence and ask the clerk a question, say, for directions. If nothing else, I’ve noticed a curious tendency for Russian queues to veer to the right. Before you know it, it has veered into the next queue. It’s like the people behind you are interested in what you are doing or where you are going. At least that’s the feeling I get. I know it’s all my problem for thinking that queues are supposed to be straight lines.
Funny, number 2, speaking Russian: I’ve thought about entitling the Russian portion of my journey as Russia on 100 Words or Less. It’s not that I think everyone should speak English (although it was certainly relaxing in Finland where almost everyone does). In fact, I’ve always enjoyed learning language on the road.
Americans are stereotyped as not only wanting the world to speak English, but actually thinking that anyone can actually understand English, if only the speaker speaks slowly and raises his voice.
Russians have another approach to linguistic differences. If you ask if they speak English, and they cannot, they look insulted that you’ve asked. If you try to speak Russian, they can get very excited and speak even faster. At least it sounds like that to me. Certainly, you don’t get cut any slack. There are exceptions, two come to mind quickly: ladies at the shops in churches, even when they don’t know I’m a priest, and younger clerks, especially at upscale, American retail shops.
Then there were those two really nice young waiters at Sir Lancelot’s, with the ruffled collars. I see one whispering to the other, “I think we need an English menu.”
“Hey, what gives me away?” I ask Ka’ren. He only smirks.
As my parishioner Alla says, quoting a Russian proverb: Fr. John is like dog: he understands everything and can say nothing.
(Well, not quite but close.)
Funny, number 3, the Babas: I mentioned before the role which Russian grandmothers (babas) play in keeping order in the churches. Ever on watch for a miscreant at prayer, they can appear out of nowhere to correct with walking stick or shaking finger.
Fortunately in my case, there was no weapon. I had transgressed local custom in the route I took to venerate the icons. Enter, the baba: She looked at me and came forward. I thought she was going to ask a blessing. Then, I realized I didn’t have my cassock on, so wait a minute. What was up?
She explained that I should not have crossed in front of the Royal Doors to reach the other side of the church after venerating the icon of the Saviour. I should have cut a half circle around the center analoi and then approached the other icons. I beg her forgiveness. I make sure to bow lower than she stands. She is very short. Finally, she smiles. It never hurts to be chastened.
Scripture talks about the Lord chastening those whom he loves. It never says he will use babas to do it, but then again, it doesn’t matter. If we can’t accept chastening from babas whom we can see, then how will we accept it from God whom we cannot? Honor thy father and thy mother, and this includes babas, even if they aren’t yours.
Funny, number 4, Russian road rage: So many cars being driven by so many people here over the last twenty years has impacted the Russian highway infrastructure in many ways. One is the traffic jam. (Is it dzham?) Anyway, they can be as dense as any in America’s big cities. The best thing to do is attempt to avoid them.
Folks who can afford it hire drivers. While this leaves the driving to someone else, it does not take the fun out of riding on Russian roads, especially in the country. I’ve noticed a curious habit that drivers will attempt to pass on the slightest margin. Then it is a question of whether that four-cylinder engine really has the juice to get around all those trucks (or cars) and make it safely back in lane before the oncoming traffic reaches where you are. (Obviously, in my case, they have so far.)
Drivers will take all pains to miss potholes. This makes for a driving pattern that looks much like Olympic figure and speed skating all rolled into one event, except that your competition is skating toward you. It is sort of like Roller Derby on tires with the Kansas City Bombers coming from the other direction.
If your driver misses the turn or exit: no problem. If no traffic is coming behind you, he will simply back up. I could have sworn we were approaching about 250 meters (800 feet) in reverse that day in Vladimir.
Funny, number 5, walking down the street: People tend to walk on the same side of the sidewalk that they drive on the road in most cultures, especially if most people can drive. The same is true for stairwells.
Americans tend to walk on the right, just like they drive. Just try getting off the plane in London in the morning after a transatlantic flight. You head for the first people-moving sidewalk you see. But, wait: Not this one; that one! Which one? The one on left. Brits and Americans can meet head-on very quickly.
In Russia walking is sort of like Russian driving, too. Especially, when attempting to pass or to turn across pedestrian traffic to enter a shop. Usually in the US, if two people see that they are about to collide in another two seconds, both will pause a minute to reroute. In Russia, it doesn’t work that way. Only the American pauses. Just because you pause doesn’t mean anything for oncoming foot traffic. They just keep coming. If you don’t move out of their way, you should.
Hey, it doesn’t mean anything for the folks behind you either. They’ll just pass you on the right. (They do that on the roads, too.) So, be careful when walking in Russia.
And, I still hold doors for ladies. That’s another pause, and a bit unusual against the backdrop of Soviet-style egalitarianism. No one holds doors for anyone.
Funny, number 6, the toilet: This is toilet humor, but not the type you think. (Hey, why should you think it and I write about it, anyway?) The funniest moments have come from reading the instructions inside the many WC’s across the land. Some of the best:
- On the train: “Do not stand on the toilet.” (OK. That’s fine by me. From the picture, it looked a prohibition against washing feet in the toilet. Not a problem, either!)
- On the train, again: “The request! In the toilet, not to throw! Anything!”
- In the hotel: “Anzeige” — followed by the rest of the warning in English. Anzeige? But be on anzeige (notice), then, “Don’t suppose a constant channel at water use.”
- And at the monastery: It is easier to clean the toilet than to clean your soul. (Graphic, but pithy!)
Funny, number 7: Say, What?!? :
- Sign at the 24-Hour Convenience Store: “Open 8:00-20:00″
- Notice at the hotel: “For information about tours in our area, ask a staff member at Reception about what’s available.” Reception’s response: “I don’t have any idea.”
- Ashtrays provided in “non-smoking” rooms.
- Cigarettes provided in mini-bars in “non-smoking” rooms.
- Smoking in “non-smoking” rooms. (Uh, you think?)